Ellie Epp workshop index

Embodiment Studies web worksite index

Body as spirit I  Body as spirit II Body as spirit III  Outline and bibliog Body as spirit II. Somatic processing: a case study in soul welcome In the end, commitment to creative life is a commitment to a constantly increasing relationship with the lonelier outreaches of the psyche, learning not to disrespect the smallest, not to kick aside the most tattered, learning to take in and care for "the stranger" of the psyche, the one who has the longest view from the farthest away reaches of mind, spirit and imagination. We are the only ones who can even begin to be a friend to this friendless one. Do you hear that knock on the door? Do you know the one who is standing outside waiting for you? Go see. That is my first and last advice. Go see who is there. May it, for your sake, and all to the good, be a very strange stranger indeed. Clarissa Pinkola Estes This workshop will approach felt soulfulness as one aspect of early or nonverbal bodily structure. A student will describe her astonishing experiences using art-making and somatic focusing to approach the values we think of as soul by experiential immersion in body. 1. the central hypothesis: that soul is an aspect of body 2. what can we mean by 'soul'? 3. soul welcome: the how-to of somatic processing i. body as structure ii. "it's such a battleground:" trauma and structural dissociation iii. abreaction, reactivation of dissociated structure iv. fears of and defenses against reconnection v. processing as allowing reactivation to complete itself, Gendlin's felt sense vi. role of art in processing vii. role of the witness 4. student demonstration of the process 5. results 6. what is 'spiritual' about all of this?     1. the central hypothesis: that soul is an aspect of body Talking about art and somatic processing as a way of welcoming soul as early nonverbal self 2. what can we mean by 'soul'? - The feel of the word - What's the contrast? - Different people's suggestions Rumi says: "There is a place within each of us that language does not touch." earliness nonverbal 'inner being' hunger and satisfaction "a glistening, transparent sphere" sensitive and intuitive, vulnerable and impressionable "Your soul represents the child who lives inside you." A nonphysical essence, a vital force, a piece of good, "a dimension of experiencing life and ourselves [that] has to do with depth, value, relatedness, heart and personal substance" ­ invisible ­ "a silent agent deep within us" ­ contrast with spirit as if of mother and father, spirit "is transcendent and takes us beyond ourselves", "inspires us and gives us vision." ... view ourselves as three concentric layers of being. In the center is our soul, our inner being, our true self. This is who we really are, and in an ideal world, this is what we would experience and express from the moment of our birth. However, due to our massively conditioned childhood realities, we are rarely allowed access to this aspect of our being. Therefore, our soul reacts to externally conditioned realities, creating a thick shell around our innermost being composed of various survival strategies and control dramas. Most of our repressions, fixations, denials, traumas, and neuroses are held within this layer. We could call this the disowned self. A third layer out is our social persona. It is the smiling mask masks of success, poise, and self-control For me soul is the opposite of denial and delusion. It is realness of being. Soul as experienced innocence 3. soul welcome: the how-to of somatic processing How to work directly with the body, how to not be afraid of oneself "Soul work" ­ Clarissa Pinkola Estes, James Hillman, Marianne Williamson, Eva Pierrakos [see bibliography] i. body as structure ii. trauma and structural dissociation Concept of dissociation/living a more 'fragmented' disembodied life not of the body, fearing my body iii. abreaction, reactivation of dissociated structure iv. fears of and defenses against reconnection v. processing as allowing reactivation to complete itself, Gendlin's felt sense Awareness is, of itself, healing. Two personal examples [EE]: 1) My own experience with fear and the front of the body is that what I call the solar, the area under the ribcage, just below the diagram, is my early warning system. If something is not right, if someone is lying, if some threat is not yet properly recognized, I feel tight in the solar. If I concentrate in the sensation, feel into it more, sensation may move to the heart area, and there it is felt as pain not tension. It can be very acute. If a certain kind of thinky defense sets in, feeling shifts back to the solar again, so I have come to think of a tight solar as blocking pain at the heart. If I can continue to concentrate and feel into the heart pain it will sometimes shift to the throat, where it is an ache like the ache of not crying. It may also shift directly to the forehead, where the sensation is like a child's anxiety. If I can keep feeling where it is, keep tracking it with close attention, sensation will sometimes as if melt out the top of the head and be gone, so that what is left is a body like airy transparency. Sometimes the sensation shifts quickly but sometimes it persists. At those times several things may work. One is to use Gendlin's technique of talking to the sensation, asking it what it is about, and so on. There will often be a big sigh when I name the cause correctly, and then I find the sensation has shifted. Another technique my teacher Joyce taught me was to as if touch the sensation with a breath of light humorous curiosity. Another was to expand the sensation past the edges of the body. 2) When I was a kid I had surgery on my foot numerous times, tendon transplants. In the time when I was doing emotional recovery work using the Gendlin focusing technique, I realized that I could try it with a pain I feeling in one of my surgical scars. I lay down and completely focused on it. What happened next is that it got more intense, much more intense, excruciating, but I stuck with it. Then it moved to a different scar site, and then another, until it had appeared at all of them in sequence. I am not sure exactly how anaesthetic works, but apparently the nerves at the incision registered what was happening and something cortical laid down a trace that could be reactivated. vi. role of art in processing Integration of the divided self through art. Let the art lead. vii. role of the witness Because the larger-than-ego self can present itself, initially at least, as if it is outside the self - a sort of other - it may be vital to be able also to trust something/someone other than the ego as it experiences itself consciously. My experience has been that when I feel safely contained by an other, a more fragile self can appear. When my teacher contained me by understanding me better than I understood myself, I came to trust her. When I learned to trust her, I was learning to trust. When I learned trust I was also learning to trust myself. My sense of therapy, then, is that the feeling of safe containment, rather coldly called transference among the Freudians, may be essential to early stages (at least) of deep work. 4. demonstrating the process You are your own case study in a most interesting and significant branch of embodiment studies. My hope and intention is that the event can be an ally to the vulnerable part of every person in the room, including you and me. If it isn't an ally to you, it won't be an ally to me or them either. 5. results I'm grateful for these direct ways to shift emotional pain because they make me more confident of being able to handle losses and uncertainties. understanding As an apparent natural extension (of "taking refuge in the moment") there was a jump from the seeking spirit from outside or soul as separate, I came to an understanding and experience of the body more along the lines of what you have in the article on naturalism and spirituality. health happiness action 6. what is 'spiritual' about all of this? "I am weeping with understanding, thank you for sharing this...." "It is the stranger who is weeping to be thought welcome ..." What's 'spiritual' about this story? That sensation of trust and willingness and gratitude is what soul means to me ­ gratitude for the opening up of the possibilities of life - trust and willingness to suffer to be real ­ working generously with the helpless parts of oneself ­ not taking the side of one's defenses ­ enlarging the sense of self and world ­ trusting what is true and surrendering one's defenses - gaining innocence by giving up oblivion. Valor to be loyal to one's own experience and longing and vision. * The best essence of the religious attitude as you and I learned it in our fundamentalist Protestant churches seems to me to be the trust and gratitude of early love. I like Jung's way of living this attitude psychologically, "There are things in the psyche which I do not produce, but which produce themselves and have their own life." You match that lovely quote with another from an artist, "Being open to the voice within you is how your life happens. Again and again, it plunges you into the unknown. What is required, it seems, is a willingness to commit yourself to the whole ­ known, unknown, and unknowable ­ and trust the path your indwelling truth is showing you." That's really good. Also the Bible verse that says, The truth shall make you free - "Conscious awareness of the truth of one's own experience is the essence of the cure."    Body as spirit I  Body as spirit II Body as spirit III  Outline and bibliog